Deathbed advice

You may think it’s a long time since my last post, but a whole sixteen years have gone by since Nur al-Din ’Ali fell out so spectacularly with his dear brother Shams al-Din Muhammad over the (imaginary) marriage of their (imaginary) children, and there has been no further contact between them.

But falling out and getting uppity have no influence on fate, which will come to pass as Allah decrees, no matter how angry you are.

And now Nur al-Din ’Ali is about to depart this life, wondering if he was right to nurse his anger against his brother for so long and cut himself off so completely in a foreign country, even if he has done perfectly well for himself there.

He makes his handsome son Hasan (such a lovely lad that

A moon reaches its full in the heavens of his beauty )

write down the whole story of the family rift so that he will know his roots, and, should the will of Allah ever draw him across the path of his uncle, be able to deliver to him a full account of his estranged brother’s fate.

And, of course, Nur al-Din must leave his son an injunction or two to guide him through the perils of life, for that is but a dying father’s duty.

What shall we make of his parting advice?

… do not be on intimate terms with anyone, for in this way you will be safe from the evil they may do you

… injure no man, lest Time injure you, for one day it will favour you and the next it will harm you, and this world is a loan to be repaid

… keep silent and [...] concern yourself with your own faults and not those of others

… be on your guard against drinking wine, for wine is the root of all discord and it carries away men’s wits

… guard your wealth and it will guard you; protect it and it will protect you

A thousand years have passed since these stories were first written down, and many were already ancient well before that, so we may fairly conclude that these maxims are the distilled wisdom of the ages. And indeed, you have only to scan the problem pages (or even the news pages) of any journal of our own day to see the same advice being handed out:

• get too close and you’ll get hurt
• do wrong and you’ll pay for it
• you can only change yourself
• drink makes you stupid
• without money you’re in trouble

Pragmatic stuff, focused on survival. Nothing wrong with that.

But is it what you would really want to say to your son or daughter, supposing you agree that your last breaths are best spent in giving advice?

May Allah decree my deathbed still far off, but I feel moved to devise my own provisional words of wisdom on the five principles espoused by Nur al-Din, lest my son or daughter are unable to attend on the fateful day.

So, dear children…

Intimacy – Get really close to a few people (not too many). You will get hurt, because being close to another person renders you vulnerable, but closeness can also bring deeper joy and reveal more of your true nature than you can possibly discover by yourself.

Of course, if you’d rather not know too much about yourself, then it’s best to keep others at bay.

Ethics – Wrong and right are not as easily distinguishable as people would have you believe. You’ll be punished for doing what you think right, and rewarded for doing what you think wrong. You still have to make choices with no guarantee that you are ‘really’ right or wrong - and take the consequences anyway.

The only help is to be ready to forgive yourself on a pretty regular basis for not being master of the universe.

Responsibility – It’s much easier to identify what other people should do than to determine – and pursue – the proper course for yourself. But there is only person you are responsible for changing (if that is the proper course) and only one person you can change.

You will influence other people whether you mean to or not, it is true, but you will be astounded (and not necessarily pleased) to learn – when you ever do – exactly how you influenced them.

Indulgence – Good wine is a delight – but (too much) drink really does make you stupid and it’s hard to tell, while quaffing, just how much is too much. So take care, my dear ones, and drink a toast for me.

Wealth – Money matters because it gives you more choices in many areas of life, but it is not the only or even the most important kind of wealth you can have. However much of it you have, or seek to have, you will lose out if you are unable to distinguish between value and price.

The best things in life are free – but not necessarily easily obtainable. A storyteller yet more famed than Shahrazad herself put it like this:

A pearl of great price?

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchantman, seeking goodly pearls: who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it. (AV Mark 13: 45-46)

Make the study of pearls your life’s work, and practise giving things away. In this way, should that one peerless gem appear before you whose supreme beauty warrants the surrender of all your wealth – you will be ready.

And with these words, she breathed her last…

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